How to Participate in a Geisha Dinner

WHAT IS A GEISHA DINNER?

A geisha, translating to "art person" in Japanese, is a skilled artisan proficient in singing, dancing, and playing the samisen, a traditional lute-like instrument. Beyond these essential talents, a geisha excels in the art of conversation. Geishas undergo training to cultivate qualities of organization, composure, and a positive demeanor—additionally, many geisha master ancillary skills such as flower arranging, conducting tea ceremonies, and calligraphy.

A geisha dinner offers a unique and enchanting experience, allowing guests to immerse themselves in the captivating world of geisha culture. With their distinctive white-painted faces, crimson lips, and elegant kimonos, geisha are not courtesans, but highly skilled entertainers trained in traditional Japanese arts. The journey to becoming a geisha involves rigorous training and hard work, we’ve described that in detail in our LIFE OF A GEISHA article here.

how should I prepare?

So you've decided to take part in a formal/private Geisha dinner experience, maybe at a tea house. What should you wear for an event like this? While you don't need to wear your absolute best for this, you should still avoid overly casual clothes such as jeans and shorts. (If you're staying at a ryokan, then a robe called a yukata may be provided in your room for you to wear.) Also, remember that like many places in Japan, you will be removing your shoes upon entering, so make sure to wear clean socks. You may also join some games later, so make sure you can move around!

Kaiseki Dinner

For formal occasions in Japan, a traditional kaiseki (会席) dinner is often served, a style where several small and relatively simple dishes are served one at a time on small plates, rather than all at once in large portions. Kaiseki is considered the pinnacle of Japanese cuisine, embodying many fundamental aspects of Japanese culture. For example, Japanese attention to season is reflected in the choice of food, as well as the decor in the room.

A traditional Japanese room called a washitsu, with tatami flooring and a tokonoma alcove. ©TOKI — A traditional Japanese room called a *washitsu*, with *tatami* flooring and a *tokonoma* alcove. ©TOKI

A typical kaiseki dinner may include the following:

Shokuzen-shu, a kind of sweet alcohol
Appetizers
Suimono (Soup)
Sashimi (Uncooked, hand-prepared fish slices)
Nimono (Boiled Dish)
Yakimono (Grilled Dish)
Agemono (Deep Fried Dish)
Mushimono (Steamed Dish)
Sunomono (Vinegared Dish)
Shokuji set - Rice, Miso Soup, and Tsukemono (pickled vegetables)
Dessert - usually a seasonal fruit

You'll notice that the series of main dishes are all based off the fundamental methods of cooking in Japanese cuisine, each with its own unique properties.

Traditional performances

After you've had dinner, there will often be a chance for you to enjoy watching a variety of performances of traditional Japanese arts. This might include:

Shamisen (三味線) - a three-stringed Japanese lute played using a bachi (撥) or a plectrum, similar in basic construction to a guitar or banjo, which came from China through Okinawa around the 16th century.
Nihon buyo (日本舞踊) - literally meaning Japanese dance, a traditional art form developed over many centuries, and unlike some other Japanese dance forms, meant exclusively for stage performances. It also has its origins in Kabuki and Noh, traditional forms of Japanese theater.
Taiko (太鼓) - a familiar term to many, referring to traditional Japanese drums, a musical tradition dating back possibly as far as the 6th century.

Japanese traditional dance, Nihon buyo, is typically accompanied by a shamisen player and a vocalist. ©TOKI — Japanese traditional dance, *Nihon buyo*, is typically accompanied by a shamisen player and a vocalist. ©TOKI

ozashiki asobi (お座敷遊び, Party Games)

At functions attended by geisha, there are often a variety of party games that geisha will engage in with the guests! Here are the basic rules of a few common games that don't require you to know Japanese!

Tora Tora Tora (とらとら / 虎々)- 2 players. This game is similar to rock-paper-scissors, but instead played with symbols for the Old Woman, who beats the Samurai, who beats the Tiger, who beats the Old Woman! For this game however, the two players stand on opposite sides of a screen, and often times a geisha will play music on a shamisen while singing the Tora Tora Tora song. As the song ends, the two players pop out from behind the screen and reveal their choice!
Konpira Fune Fune (金比羅船々)- 2 players. This is also a simple yet engaging game for visitors to Japan with little linguistic knowledge. It involves the two players sitting on opposite sides of a small table, which has a small box on top of it. While a geisha plays the game's accompanying song on the shamisen, the two players take turns in rhythm putting their hand out on the box. If the box is there, the player should put out "paper," but if the box is not there, they should put out "rock." However, on any turn, either player is allowed to take the box (keeping the rhythm going!), and if the other player plays paper when the box is gone, or conversely plays rock when the box is still there, that player loses. It's a fun way to test your concentration!
Tōsenkyo (投扇興) - any number of players. This game is more of a test of your hand-eye coordination! It involves just a few props. Typically, your host will set up a small figurine of a sensu, a kind of Japanese folding fan, on top of a small wood block. You'll sit a few feet away from it, and using an actual sensu, you'll try to toss it so that it glides into the figurine and knocks it over! Despite the simple premise, it's harder than it sounds, since the fan will flip over in the air!

Playing Konpira Fune Fune. ©TOKI — Playing *Konpira Fune Fune*. ©TOKI

Arranging fans for a game of Tōsenkyo. ©TOKI

things not to do when interacting with a geisha

Most of these things should be quite obvious, but here are a few social faux pas to avoid when interacting with a geisha at a dinner event.

Do not ask a geisha personal questions. Geisha are intentionally friendly and hospitable with guests as part of their job, but they are also trained to stay relatively anonymous and avoid crossing a social boundary that exists between a professional host and guests.
Do not take pictures of geishas without asking them. It is considered respectful to seek permission before taking photographs of geishas, as it aligns with their cultural traditions and personal privacy. Geishas are professionals who engage in traditional arts and entertainment, and by asking for permission, you acknowledge and honor their space and role in preserving their cultural practices.
Do not make any kind of sexual advances or attempt to offer a geisha money in exchange for sexual services. This should be the most obvious, not only because prostitution has been illegal in Japan for quite some time, but also because it is rude and demeans the geisha's profession. Any behavior of this kind will ruin the experience for you, the host, and all the other guests.

Things you should do when interacting with geisha

Be respectful. Pay attention to the performance and show your appreciation for the hospitality your host is providing. Be it a geisha experience in Tokyo or a Geiko ( Geisha in Kyoto dialect) experience in Kyoto, you are going to enjoy the history, aesthetics, and techniques behind one of Japan’s great art forms
Participate in the games and activities. This is also a rare opportunity to enjoy some games and recreation unique to Japanese culture.
Have fun! Most importantly, remember that although this is a relatively formal setting, the overall purpose is to have a good time. A geisha's primary role in these types of events is to create a lively and enjoyable atmosphere for the guests, so make the best of this opportunity to both relax and learn a little about a different culture.